I have had a few folks marvel at how much I've accomplished with no budget on Mark of the Veil. I believe it's a combination of greatly talented people, fortunate circumstances in spite of failed fundraising, and the following mindset that I attribute to experience working with volunteers (both at my church and in film).
It's a little harsh, because I know I as an indie filmmaker must battle my unjustifiably enormous ego,and I suspect I'm not the only one.
Ready? Here goes.
The indie filmmaker who has no funds to pay his or her cast and crew must remember that they do not work for him or her - the filmmaker works for his or her cast and crew.
Your job as the indie filmmaker is to:
Make the best film possible, first and foremost, for the cast's demo reels. (GET THEM A COPY - NOW!)
Prioritize their scheduling needs over yours. (YOU WORK FOR THEM, REMEMBER?)
Communicate everything ahead of time. (YOU WORK FOR THEM, REMEMBER?)
Make their experience on set the best you possibly can. (FOOD AT ALL COSTS!)
You work for them, remember?
And finally, the indie filmmaker with no budget must always remember - THERE IS A REASON YOU HAVE NO BUDGET. You are not God's gift to independent cinema. Folks should not have to feel privileged to work with you, for any reason. You have earned nothing simply by writing a script and planning out a production which has no ability to compensate talented people for their time.
People are taking a GAMBLE on your abilities. More than likely their experiences working with indie filmmakers are predominantly NEGATIVE. You are not special. You are not owed anything.
And I don't care who you are, that never changes.
I try to do what Jesus did (everything comes back to Jesus for me, sorry). I try to strip off my self-supposed creator status and trade it in for a towel to wrap around my waist. I do my best to gently take off the shoes of those who walk with me, and I try to wash their feet as they rest from a hard life of moving from audition to audition, from gig to gig.
I want to make my set a place of refreshment, of energizing rest. A place where, when the shoot wraps, people are bummed it's over and are already pumped for the next adventure with me.
That method will cost you. It will cost you control, ego, power, and all those things you think you should have. You will spend less of your time being an artistic genius and more time asking your cast and crew what you can do for them. It will be less about the "vision" and more about the people you work withfor.
And, at the end of the day, you'll look back and see a beautiful sight similar to mine - over forty people that, regardless of how much or little they could participate, are bonded to you, and are ready to do that awesomeness again. (Next time with a budget!)
Or... you can not do those things and then watch as your film likely doesn't even complete production.
That's the choice before each of us - how are we going to treat those who are taking a RISK on us?
And one final note... I don't think that goes away when there's money involved. Not if you're smart. Not if you want relationships that go beyond this one film project.
Because this one film project? It's probably not that great anyway.
The other night I had a dream that I was at a Hollywood movie producer's house, and he pulled out a contract after a long discussion about things, and I signed it without thinking. Then I looked at it and realized I had committed to a $60,000 investment. I panicked internally, but externally held it together. Then I saw that, if the effort was to be successful, there would be a 32 million dollar profit. But I couldn't get over the dread of realizing there was no way I could come up with $60,000. I was terrified of what I had just done to our family. Then I woke up. Weird dream. I love dreams with numbers, though. They have to mean something.
Felt led to poke around with the numbers, see what I could find online. Found a page about numbers in dreams from a (supposedly) biblical perspective. Numbers in dreams and the Bible, it says. The numbers that I am looking for are 6 and 60; 3, 2 and 32, because I feel that the pieces are separate and yet a part of the whole.
60,000 was the cost for this effort. 6 (according to this site) is "man". 60 is "worldly production".
32 million was the potential profit, should I succeed. 3 is the Trinity, 2 is division, and 32 is "conspiracy".
As I piece that together, I can't help but wonder what the heck that means. The 60,000 bit feels right - pouring all of myself, my talents and abilities into something that maybe I didn't anticipate costing as much as it did.
But the "reward"... the phrase that comes out to me is a Trinity driven division. A God-driven conspiracy.
The film producer, the contract, the instant concern for my family, and the numbers. It's a very interesting, very vivid dream. What kind of division would the Trinity conspire to bring about through human effort?
I can't also help but see how the cost pales in comparison to the reward. Yet the reward brings little comfort in the dream.
It almost seems like the dream says, "Don't expect happiness and joy from what God has planted within you. This is a smaller piece of a bigger thing, and it is cloaked in the mystery of the future. And it will cost you everything."
I woke up this morning with something that seemed like a present from the unconscious world of dreams from which I'd just emerged. Thankfully, the iPad was within arm's reach, so I jotted this down. It's not anything new, but it's a clarification I think I was subconsciously seeking. We'll see if this is actually worth the effort...
Every scene starts with a TRUTH that must be CHALLENGED.
The TRUTH originates from a mixture of THEME and CHARACTER. The BALANCE is dependent on the FOCUS of the TRUTH. Example truth: "Kylie believes her father is dead." While the THEME of the overall story always influences the truth (this example story's THEME: Choice vs Programming), in this case, the BALANCE is heavily in favor of CHARACTER. Reason: the FOCUS is on Kylie's understanding.
The CHALLENGE to Kylie's TRUTH will vary in STRENGTH depending on if this scene is a TURNING POINT or a BUILDING BLOCK.
The CHALLENGE will generally have a DEFINITIVE RESULT (true or false) if it occurs at a TURNING POINT, which then shifts the direction of the plot (hence the term "turning point"). If it occurs in a BUILDING BLOCK (a scene in-between turning points), it will generally have a PARTIAL RESULT (strengthened or weakened).
Regarding PARTIAL RESULTS, because these are not definitive, a NEGATIVE PARTIAL RESULT does not require that the eventual TURNING POINT will end with a NEGATIVE DEFINITIVE RESULT. Rather, a partial negative could be the breaking down of a particular misunderstanding of a larger truth that is in fact true. Inversely, a partial positive could be indicative of a solidified misunderstanding or deception that is eventually exposed.
This post started as a Facebook status; then it blew up into the massive entry that follows. I realized I hadn't used my personal blog in over a year, and to save the Facebook world from another super huge blob of text on its wall (and actually use this domain I pay for), I brought it here. (Oooh, nice new interface, Blogger.)
I'm a late-to-the-game Battlestar Galactica (2004) fan. A rabid fan, actually. My wife and I ate through the four seasons and two TV movies in less than a month. (It was actually kind of unhealthy. If you encountered grumpy sleep-deprived BSG craving Brandon and Rachel during this time period, we would like to publicly apologize for our mutual pathetic-ness and possible odor.) For most of November, we were totally these people:
My favorite things about the series? It wasn't the BSG legacy - we only discovered the old 70's BSG after finishing the new series, and I think I've slept through the last three episodes of that one.
It was the characters, the merging of genres (sci-fi, political thriller), the possibility of the Divine within a Sci-Fi, and so many great tracks of music. So many great tracks of music. The following track will work great as atmosphere for the rest of this post...
(Note: if you're looking for a Christmas gift to get me, I want all five albums to this series - the pilot miniseries by Richard Gibbs, and the four seasons by Bear McCreary.)
A quick disclaimer - as some folks might read this as an endorsement for the series (which it totally is) - be advised that this was a show produced for cable, not network television, and as such has a lot of violence and sexual conduct that definitely goes beyond network television's limits. I didn't receive it as being racy for the sake of being racy - one of the major themes of this story is the idea of machines attempting to understand (if not destroy) their creators (humanity), and, well, we reproduce by having sex and some of us have violent tendencies - but be advised, if that's something you have a check against, it might not be for you.
... Though in that case I'd also strongly caution against reading The Old Testament, and avoiding any film with the chutzpah to portray it accurately. Just to be fair.
The finale, which aired in 2009, was more than a little controversial, apparently. It took Rachel and I by surprise at first, but we made peace with it and now actually really appreciate how it ended. (At least it ended better than LOST!) I'm giving it some time - we're going to finish the 70's series hunting for clues, and then we'll re-watch the 2004 version looking for anything we might have missed.
Frak yeah he does...
In the meantime, I have totally started geeking out after watching the finale (and being disappointingly underwhelmed by the follow-up, "Caprica"), and have been visiting tons of BSG fan sites and wikis for answers and clues - and there seems to be a great divide among fans about the last season. The main point of contention is regarding possible divine involvement in the plot. No, I will not be discussing my thoughts on how well or poorly the show handled and wrapped up this aspect, so as to not spoil it for newer fans like us.
(And here, my friends, is where the true point of my post emerges...)
Reading all the love and hate (mostly hate) for the idea of God in a Sci-Fi series, I was reminded of the tension between my faith and my own film work. Truth be told, I find most "God" appearances in plots to be lazy, unimaginative and undeserved. Why? Because it makes every mystery and every loophole instantly fixable by the "God" explanation. Thus, there is no challenge to the writer to work his or her way out of a puzzle - "God" fixes it with "faith" in the "unknown".
Many Christian films are the worst at this. Formatted more as a testimony for Sunday morning service than a well written page-turner, the characters flop around, making a mess of things for two and a half acts (with no real protagonist in sight), and then "God" shows up and magically brings healing, truth, and light - just before the credits.
This is not the God of the Bible. God is not interested in the deus ex machina. It bores Him. Evidence - the length of the Bible, before and after Christ's appearance. The involvement of God as a real character, SomeOne Whose motives aren't mysterious and aloof, but made painfully obvious and personal from the beginning of time to a species nonetheless blinded by their own guilt and shame - SomeOne Who tells His Story, not to humanity, but through humanity.
From another angle on this: the ultimate "twist" is that every story we write has a "god". The writer, whether he/she realizes it or not, is the "god" of their world. Just like God Himself, we choose to tell our story through the lives of others, fictional or non-fictional. We walk the balance of "divine" will and human will every day. Ultimately, "divine" will does come first, but the human will is what makes it interesting. It is my belief that a good writer does not solve for one or the other, but rather manages the tension, letting "divine" will build the road, and human will drive the car (and wreck it or drive off the road).
Thus, the inclusion of "God" in a fictional story is tricky business (and somewhat redundant); "He" can be somewhat tempting to push all plot-holes and challenges onto. And while some Christians might be so thrilled that "God" is mentioned/involved in a novel or moving picture that they throw their critiques to the wind because the "Message" was presented, most of us (Christian or not) feel the whole experience has been cheapened somehow.
It's like a Star Trek film that attempts to please the fans by making sure Scotty says "I'm givin' her all she's got!", only they don't ensure that Scotty does in fact give her all she's got.
Chillax, '66 Scotty, we were talking about '09 Scotty.
Aye.
Why?
Because this is not how Creator and Master Story-Weaver God works, and we (whether we realize it or not) know it.
God, the One I believe to be the Real One, had a challenge for me in all of this reading and reflecting. For years, I planned to include Him in a story that I've had with me for a long time. It's a sequel-spanning saga that will have many initially unanswered questions get slowly answered over the course of a planned trilogy (and a prequel, which is being produced before the trilogy now).
His Voice (as I heard it) spoke to my writer's heart as my thoughts moved to my own creation: "Don't put your story on Me. I'll participate as one of your characters, but don't make Me responsible for cleaning up your plot messes. I'll give you insights, but you're responsible to investigate those insights."
You see, I believe that God chooses to work through people, whether they realize it or not. Jesus' lineage in the Gospel of Matthew is perhaps the most important piece of text in the whole of Scripture. God didn't override choices made by flawed humanity to fix our problems; God used those choices made by people, over thousands of years, which included some pretty horrific stuff (there is injustice, rape and murder in the lineage of Jesus Christ) to enter the story as a character Himself. And when He left this earth after His Resurrection He commissioned His Creation(which He's now yet still a part of)to carry forward the story of humanity's redemption and transformation, in this age as well as the one to come.
There are unexplained mysteries. No good storyteller wraps everything up. But the elements important to the plot - which is the salvation of the elect (those who respond in faith to Christ's sacrifice) - are clearly resolved, earning that resolution through the choices of its characters.
So... the next time you're thinking about seeking the Divine for a quick dues ex machina - reconsider. God chose to clean up the plot holes by getting His hands dirty. He didn't snap His fingers and fix everything - that's not in His nature. If you've been praying for God to do so in your life, maybe the challenge God has for you is to open your eyes, unclasp your hands, and see where He is calling you to be His hands and feet. That's what He's called you to - to be a storyteller, to be a dreamer, to be a creative investor in the lives of those around you.
Yes, you do need to clean up this plot yourself.
And if you're a writer, resist the deus ex machina temptation. That's not God; it's just you being lazy.
Wow, it's been a while since I've posted here! I've been incredibly pre-occupied with another blog for my movie, and haven't given this one near the love it needs (it is, after all, my first and original).
Yesterday I had the unenviable task of looping production audio - where you re-record dialogue in a studio because the audio on the shoot was unusable. Normally when I have to do this chore, it's for an actor or another speaker. But yesterday, it was all me. I had filmed myself outdoors for a new pitch video for my film's fundraising campaign.
(As a side note, I used a very cool app for the iPod Touch that turned it into a teleprompter. It actually worked pretty well, taped right underneath the lens. I have it for the iPad as well -- I'll be for sure using it quite a bit in the future.)
I had a lapel mic underneath my jacket, with some gauze to keep it separated from clothes, but the wind was too much for it. I decided I'd just go with it and loop the sound later. In the editing room, I worked with the scratch audio for the sake of editing. I knew I wouldn't be on screen the whole time, so I'd only have to match those moments; the rest of my dialogue could just be treated like good old fashioned narration.
The experience gave me some fresh insight into the looping process. I noticed for me, personally, that when I would focus on matching my words with the lip movements, I would focus so much on starting at the right time that I'd generally miss the right tone and inflections, and often would have inconsistent speeds that wouldn't match up on the timeline due to me trying to stay consistent with the video.
After about an hour of frustration, I decided to close my eyes and focus on copy-catting my audio, lip syncing be darned. I took it one sentence at a time, playing a line, then stopping the video and immediately repeating, with tone and inflection, what I'd heard. Amazingly, it matched up pretty well, much better than before. I think what did the trick for me was focusing on the content instead of worrying about pace. The pace took care of itself with the mimicry, and I captured the same energy that I had in front of the camera.
Here's how it turned out. Over all, I'm pretty happy with this pitch video, and hope it gets the response we're needing.
If/when we have to loop audio for the film, I'll be experimenting with this method.
This scene is forever embedded into my psyche. I catch myself thinking about it at least once a month.
Something alien becomes the willing sacrifice that saves the very people wanting it killed. And then reassembles with a smile as the credits roll. You can't tell me there's not a little bit of Gospel here.
This morning I was reading Hebrews, and came across this verse...
For since the law has but a shadow of the good things to come instead of the true form of these realities, it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered every year, make perfect those who draw near. Hebrews 10:1, ESV
I felt this touched a nerve on something in my journey I've been processing for, well, ever, so I jotted this note down beside the verse...
Neither can games of false repentance and continued sin due to some smug sense of entitlement. True repentance is the only response to the One Sacrifice. True repentance means honestly and forever turning from what we were saved from. True repentance is not for the sake of men or appearances.
I'm an expert in false repentance and smug entitlement, you see. I've struggled with many forms of sin: pornography, lust, anger, egotistical fantasy, but I think for me, it all comes down to looking for a substitute to the old law so I can both feel good about my "faith" and also have a bad attitude about the world when it ticks me off.
My old law sacrifices haven't been with the blood of animals, though. They've been with the wasted time of futile attempts at following the guidelines of others, to appease them, to gain some kind of absolution from them. You see, I still see so much fear of man within me, where the fear of God should be. (And by fear, I don't mean terror. I mean obsession, desire, need, want. I fear for being without that which I fear.)
Mind you, all this is subconscious, and when the Spirit exposes it to me once more, my skin crawls with all the scales of false religiosity that so envelop me. You see, it is the greatest of ironies: my sinful nature attempts to take on the form of my religious beliefs in order to preserve itself. It thinks it can hide from Christ's vengeance by clothing itself with its own version of piety.
As the Apostle Paul, one of my greatest heroes, asks, "Who will deliver me from this body of death?"
Fortunately, both he and I, know the Answer. My prayer is that, as he lived it, so can I. Not for his sake, for I do not fear Paul (while I do admire him greatly). Rather, for the sake of the One we both are forever indebted to.
And I can think of no one better to owe a debt of gratitude.
Lord, let that gratitude bear a greater fruit within me. Let me be truthfully, honestly, grateful. Let me no longer fear what people think, and do not let my perceived success or failure with people fuel or falsely justify my smug sense of entitlement any longer. Let me change, not for people's sake, not for my sake, not even for change's sake... but for Your sake.
I do believe this revelation is a cornerstone, a turning point, a step away from self-imposed doublethink.
True freedom is beautifully simple, and requires no secondary clause.
