Getting closer to the Voice of God

Last week, as I was doing some self-examination and praying, I felt God speak to me that one major character flaw that I have not yet addressed is that deep down, I see the Word as resource, but not as recreation. I open the Book when I think I need to hear something from God, but not necessarily just to rest in the "hot tub" of God's truth and let it massage out the kinks. He showed me how I still often rely on other things to chill and relax.

God assured me that I could just sit in His presence with His WORD, and I would be both edified and refreshed.

I felt led to start searching online for some kind of Bible study tool; I wanted to do something more in depth than just reading...I always read it, but I've never really been focused on unpacking the scriptures. Perhaps just like Americans take freedom for granted, being raised by a Bible "superman" like my Dad has made me content to rely on his insights.

I found an inductive study guide that was just right for me. I didn't want to be told what to think, I didn't want any kind of external commentary on what I was reading; I just needed some basic guidelines on how to get more out of the words on the page. I wanted to be able to stretch my mind, and have it stretched, without anyone else's agenda getting in the way or influencing me with human logic.

Praying about what I should focus on, God gave me a picture of starting from the beginning. Not the beginning of the Bible, but rather, what every Christian should begin with, the Gospel itself. Many times past I've tried to start in Genesis and move chronologically through the WORD, because, well, that's what feels "right". But God really moved me to look at it from the perspective of a new believer, and not to be ashamed to return to that perspective. "If you do not become like a little child..."

Then, at that point, it was obvious. The Gospel of John, I think, is the easiest, simplest, most cut and dry account of Jesus.

The inductive process I found and printed out outlined four steps to unpacking and exploring a book of the Bible for oneself. The first step was to do an overview reading and to jot down thoughts and things that interested me as I went along the way. A light read, I nevertheless spent a few days in it, an hour or two at a time.

The second step was to really evaluate what I had read, and I started to jot down a few things, which turned into a few more things, which turned into a paragraph. I'd like to post the most profound thing that I gleaned from my first read-through (with a few added thoughts as I type it in now, in brackets):

True belief is shown by obedience, by action. My actions [however] do not save or condemn me; they merely expose the heart. I must not only seek forgiveness and repentance [for my shortcomings], but study my fruit and bring it to God, staying in His presence so He might finish the work He started. [This then is total honesty with God, myself and with others.] This is why I must spend more time in the WORD [which, John tells us, IS Christ]. Then I will be in His presence, and He can operate on me. This is not a one appointment deal.

I really felt that was from the Lord; just me rephrasing and compacting all the words of Christ that I'd read.

So, this week, I began steps three and four. It was a work week, so I wouldn't have as much time to delve into the WORD as the week prior. God purposed it in my heart to give my lunch hour to Him. While it is a bummer not being able to see my wife and daughter during that hour, I feel it is necessary for the work God is doing.

Wednesday, I was driving to Jack in the Box, and was going to buy a Chicken Sandwich for $1 (because I'm poor), plus a small soda, to enjoy while I sat with the WORD for about an hour. Jack in the Box has recently added Strawberry Fanta to their soda roster, and I love Strawberry Fanta. I was already tasting it in my mouth as I drove down the road.

As I neared the stoplight before Jack's, I felt God say, I want to help pay for your lunch.

"Okay," I replied.

I pulled up, set up my yellow notepad and Bible on a table, then stepped up to the cashier. A woman was in front of me, making a huge order. I didn't think anything of it, wasn't in a hurry. Peaceful. She finished, and the cashier handed the lady her small soda cup.

The lady looked at it and shook her head, "I don't want it." She turned, looked to me and said, "Give it to him."

I'll admit, that was weird. I guess part of me still has been thinking that the Voice I hear might just be me, my own insanity. That was a cool little confirmation. I took the soda cup, thanked the lady, and ordered my Chicken Sandwich.

Thursday, I was headed out to eat lunch with the WORD, and I felt God say, I just want to buy you lunch today.

"Okay," I said aloud.

Go to Carl's Jr. Start reading your Bible, don't order. If I don't provide lunch for you within half an hour, you can order your own food.

Sounded good. I was kind of doubting that one. That was a stretch. The soda cup thing was kind of cool, but this was a bit more of a gamble. With Wednesday's scenario, I was at least in a place of obvious want. I was in line to order. It wasn't hard for the woman to see that I could use the cup she didn't want.

But now I was at a table, with my notepad and my Bible, writing, out of sight of the line. Was someone gonna just walk up and...

As I read and wrote, I saw, out of the corner of my eye, a man walk up to me. I looked at him: it was Stephen, a co-worker at the church.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. I told him. "Weird," he said, "I wasn't planning on eating in, but for some reason when the lady asked if I wanted it for 'here' or 'to go', I said 'here'."

Then he plopped his debit card on my Bible and told me to get some lunch.

I didn't get a whole lot of reading done in that hour. Stephen and I ate together and talked about family, work, life, etc. For a second I felt guilty that I wasn't reading, then I felt God quickly shush that, reveal it to be Satan's work, and said, "This is Me, too. You with others, with The Family." So I put it aside, ate, talked, and then went back to work.

It's really not much in the grand scheme of things. And yet, it is. It's huge.

This same Voice has told me to do things, and I sometimes haven't obeyed, because I wondered, questioned, feared. Earlier this year, He told me to pray for a woman's sight to be healed, and I didn't, because I was fearful. Was it really God? Now I know. It was. There's no condemnation, merely an encouragement that, next time, I'll know, and I will do.

Also, it gives me another measure of faith for a promise He made to me -- again, a relatively small thing, but to me, it's huge. God told me to give my camera to my church home. He told me He would give me the new camera that I wanted. When I find myself saying, "If the Lord wills it," I've actually heard Him say, with a laugh, Shut up, I will it. You're getting it.

So I've started saying, in the confidence of my Father, "When I get my new camera," like a child when they boast of the goodness of their earthly father to hold fast to his word. His WORD.

Praise be to God, who in times of want, and times of plenty, is ever the same. May I hold steadfast to His WORD, and may His goodness be my only source of hope and purpose. No thing, no person, no circumstance. Only Him.