Repentance, and the law vs. His provision

This morning I was reading Hebrews, and came across this verse...

For since the law has but a shadow of the good things to come instead of the true form of these realities, it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered every year, make perfect those who draw near.
Hebrews 10:1, ESV

I felt this touched a nerve on something in my journey I've been processing for, well, ever, so I jotted this note down beside the verse...

Neither can games of false repentance and continued sin due to some smug sense of entitlement. True repentance is the only response to the One Sacrifice. True repentance means honestly and forever turning from what we were saved from. True repentance is not for the sake of men or appearances.

I'm an expert in false repentance and smug entitlement, you see. I've struggled with many forms of sin: pornography, lust, anger, egotistical fantasy, but I think for me, it all comes down to looking for a substitute to the old law so I can both feel good about my "faith" and also have a bad attitude about the world when it ticks me off.

My old law sacrifices haven't been with the blood of animals, though. They've been with the wasted time of futile attempts at following the guidelines of others, to appease them, to gain some kind of absolution from them. You see, I still see so much fear of man within me, where the fear of God should be. (And by fear, I don't mean terror. I mean obsession, desire, need, want. I fear for being without that which I fear.)

Mind you, all this is subconscious, and when the Spirit exposes it to me once more, my skin crawls with all the scales of false religiosity that so envelop me. You see, it is the greatest of ironies: my sinful nature attempts to take on the form of my religious beliefs in order to preserve itself. It thinks it can hide from Christ's vengeance by clothing itself with its own version of piety.

As the Apostle Paul, one of my greatest heroes, asks, "Who will deliver me from this body of death?"

Fortunately, both he and I, know the Answer. My prayer is that, as he lived it, so can I. Not for his sake, for I do not fear Paul (while I do admire him greatly). Rather, for the sake of the One we both are forever indebted to.

And I can think of no one better to owe a debt of gratitude.

Lord, let that gratitude bear a greater fruit within me. Let me be truthfully, honestly, grateful. Let me no longer fear what people think, and do not let my perceived success or failure with people fuel or falsely justify my smug sense of entitlement any longer. Let me change, not for people's sake, not for my sake, not even for change's sake... but for Your sake.

I do believe this revelation is a cornerstone, a turning point, a step away from self-imposed doublethink.

True freedom is beautifully simple, and requires no secondary clause.